The Bright Side of a Remote Thanksgiving

I work in public relations. I can spin anything. Even so, a remote Thanksgiving is a tough sell.

There’s no way around the simple fact that our country’s losing battle against COVID-19 is changing my favorite holiday of the year. Yeah, it sucks that our government failed, and we are advised to not see our families. But with vaccines on the way, and a new administration poised to finally take the virus seriously, we should be confident this will be one-time-only remote Thanksgiving.

See? It’s not so bad. I can spin this. If you have older or at-risk family members, a remote Thanksgiving is a no-brainer. Skip one Thanksgiving with the promise of decades more? Easy.

With that in mind, let’s spin this into a positive. A remote Thanksgiving won’t be so bad…

No Holiday Travel

Is there anything worse than traveling for Thanksgiving? Living in D.C. with family on the east coast has turned the Wednesday before Thanksgiving into one of the worst days of the year, which we put up with because Thanksgiving is one of the best.

This year, forget about it. No endless traffic jams. No being stuck in crowded airport terminals or on overflowing train platforms. No dealing with obnoxious travelers. No fighting with your spouse or your child or your dog because everyone’s nerves are frayed.

Instead, enjoy this Wednesday. It’s going to suck again next year.

No Cooking (if you choose)

For some, cooking on Thanksgiving is the fun. My Aunt, who lives in D.C., won’t be having me and my wife over for dinner like she did last year, but she still wants to cook. The solution? I’m driving over mid-day on Turkey Day to pick up leftovers. A win, a win.

Still, for many, many people, cooking on Thanksgiving is no fun. It’s a lot of work. It takes a lot of time to prepare, and it takes even more time to clean. This year, every restaurant in the country is doing their version of Thanksgiving to-go options. Take advantage. Support restaurants who desperately need the business and take it easy on Thanksgiving Day. Only the microwave, the oven and your stomach should work overtime on Thursday.

Watch Whatever You Want

If you grew up like me, Thanksgiving was spent with the TV at the center of attention. Unfortunately, the quality of Thanksgiving football has taken a hit since we enjoyed Barry Sanders and the Lions in the early game, followed by Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith, and those legendary Dallas Cowboys teams. This year, the combined record of the four teams playing during the day is 13-27. Yikes.

Of course, I love football, and I love eating, so literally any game would suffice on Thanksgiving. I’m not everybody though. If you don’t like football, the lack of option scan be painful. This year? Who cares? Go watch season 2 of the Mandalorian. Watch the amazing reboot of the Animaniacs. 

Wear Sweatpants All Day

Why do we wear belts on Thanksgiving? Every year, there’s that one point of the meal where you either have to loosen your belt or fear it exploding at the dinner table. The best feeling of the day usually comes when family has left, and you can finally put on some sweatpants.

This year? No rules, baby. I’m wearing sweatpants to start the meal, and I estimate that will allow me to inhale 20-25% more turkey during the first sitting. Is that healthy? Oh God, no. Is that exciting? C’mon man.  

No Political Talk with Family

For the past four years, the lead-up to Thanksgiving has been littered with think-pieces about how to talk to your family about politics. Every family has at least one person, if not more, who have been brainwashed by nonsense they’ve read on Facebook.

Don’t sweat it in 2020. Sure, you may talk to your family via Zoom or Hangouts, but it won’t be that long of a chat. You don’t have to fear being corned by Uncle Tommy and hear why he thinks a COVID-19 vaccine is a covert plot hatched by unnamed forces to get humans addicted to socialism. And if he does start going there, oops, that darn Wi-fi again.

No Holiday Travel

Did I mention this already? Because if you’re going somewhere, you have to get back home. Nope, I will not miss driving into D.C. on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.

Pass Out in Peace

Everyone wants to pass out after Thanksgiving dinner. But it’s not polite to pass out and start sleeping when you’re visiting family. Unless you’re my Uncle Vinny, who has been on a couch snoring approximately 10 seconds after dinner is over every year that I’ve seen him on Thanksgiving.

This year, lean into that post-meal nap. You’ve already got your sweatpants on. You’re not angry from a political discussion at dinner. Enjoy that tryptophan-fueled nap and dream about leftovers.

It’s Only One Year

Look, no matter how I spin it, this Thanksgiving won’t be the same. I may go for a run in the morning, but it won’t be the same as the Manchester Road Race in Connecticut or the Trot for Hunger at Freedom Plaza in D.C.

I will eat a lot of food. I will watch a lot of football. I will eat even more food on Friday. I will watch even more football on Friday.

Through it all, I will miss my family. I’ll my sister and her kids. I’ll miss my parents and my wife will miss hers. We'll miss our aunts and uncles and cousins and friends and everyone else we may have celebrated with. At the end of the day, it’ll be okay. Because for the first time in a long time, there appears to be a light at the end of the tunnel.

When Thanksgiving 2021 rolls around, I’ll gladly get angry in traffic, struggle with my belt, and bite my tongue when the political talk commences. 

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